My Daughter, My Teacher

Last weekend my daughter was involved in shooting a pilot for a kids TV show. If the pilot makes its way successfully through focus group testing, and is picked up by a broadcaster, it will air 32 episodes this summer. We are all very excited about this! And, spending the day with the 4 children chosen to be involved was a real learning experience for me.

It reminded me of the innocence that is lost in the transition from childhood to adulthood. Unfortunately, as we grow up, we also grow out of feeling comfortable with ourselves and our abilities.

Think about how we, as adults, often behave before we have a big meeting, important presentation or some event that is very important to us. I don’t know about you, but before a large speaking event, my inner dialogue goes something like this;

- What if I forget what I am supposed to say?

- What if I remember what I am supposed to say, but nobody wants to listen to me?

- What if I come down with the flu?

- I am so nervous. I just want this to be over!

Watching my daughter, before and during the filming, was a humbling experience. None of those 4 children lost any sleep the night before. Each of them had an appetite for breakfast, and they entered the studio feeling eager to jump in! They felt completely comfortable and utterly confident! They made friends with one another instantly and saw the entire day as one big adventure. I don’t believe one of them had any feelings that they would not be able to perform as required, were not worthy of being chosen for this opportunity, or that they might somehow fail. It simply did not enter into their minds. The kids all felt so good … and they didn’t need anyone around them to help with that.

What happens to us as we age? You know, the difference between that feeling of sure-footedness, confidence and eagerness – and that feeling of fear that seems to creep in. It is hard for us to remember confidence from a place of fear, or to remember exhilaration and passion from a place of fear. They are different vibrations.

We were eager as children and it was a wonderful feeling. So, why does it change?

It changes because, as we are growing up, we are often surrounded by others who have already forgotten that the way they feel really matters. There are so many rules and so many mind-sets about the way we should behave as children and, we are often faced with people ready to stand and judge us as children if we don’t jump through their hoops in the way they think we should. And unfortunately, this is often just to make them feel better.

As adults, we know what feels good. We know what feels bad. You can reach back to some of your earliest memories and remember that first gut-wrenching feeling that you got when somebody was pointing at you or calling you names. I imagine that many of us could sit down and make a list of those kinds of experiences, where, little by little, someone tried to convince us that we were not good enough. And, in every case, it was coming from someone who had already convinced themselves that they were not good enough.

So, the question you really need to ask yourself is “How can I become so entrusting of the Law of Attraction, and so aware of my own vibrational countenance (the way I feel), that I can get back to that place where I just expect well-being to flow to me? How can I feel like I did when I was a child?”

The answer is simple, though it takes practice. Just do it. I know I sound like a shoe commercial, but it truly is that easy. Every time you make the conscious decision to move past the fear and doubt and believe in yourself…you take one more step closer to the place where the eagerness returns.

That is exactly how the children I watched last weekend felt. They were still in that place of knowing well-being. They were in vibrational alignment with who they are, and they recognize a vibrational equivalent in each other. They were tuned in, tapped in, turned on, and appear to live in an unguarded environment where they are still able to follow their hearts.

I can hear your questions and doubt from here. Even in trying to learn to let go of the doubt and fear, you analyze the situation with exactly those emotions. You’re saying:

“Shouldn’t it be different?” I say, “No. It’s perfect.”

“But shouldn’t I have been stronger, and figured out a way to stay connected when others around me were not?” And, I say, “Your own guidance system (your emotions) is as strong as it ever needed to be. Your feelings are not controllers, they are guidance.”

“But shouldn’t I have been born into a better environment, with better parents, and more supportive teachers?” I say, “You would not be who you are if you had been and who you are is wonderful.”

“But shouldn’t it have been easier along the way?” I say, “Yes, but that was up to you.”

“But shouldn’t it be easier now?” and I say “Yes, but that is up to you.”

Remember, the best position to be in is to really, really want something that you believe you can have. Thank you, my daughter, and I look forward to watching you unfold!

Learn from the young ones who haven’t forgotten. What are they teaching you?

Finally! Some "ME" Time! Now What Do I Do?

The day has finally arrived. I’ve waited all winter for it – dreamed of it, imagined it, and of course, it manifested. A day alone at the cottage! No guests, no kids, no spouse. Just me! Oh, the sweet quiet, the relaxed pace, the wonderful solace of just being alone!

Many of you know that I have spent every weekend this winter at the ski hill. So, the thought of having a day alone to myself with no schedule, no one to take care of and no deadlines was extremely appealing.

“I’m going to just stay in my pyjamas all day”, I tell myself. “Maybe I’ll read a bit, maybe I won’t. I’m going to have pancakes and whip cream for breakfast. I’m going to walk the dog on my schedule, not hers. Maybe I’ll watch a chick flick and just veg out. Maybe I’ll have a nap. It’s perfect!”

So, why doesn’t it feel perfect?

Here is the naked truth about how my day is unfolding:

I am no longer in my pyjamas. The dog has been walked (apparently she does have a schedule that can’t be ignored without involving a massive cleanup effort). I have changed the sheets on the bed (it had to be done, honestly!), called my mom and my best friend (I’ve neglected them the past few days), checked my blackberry, and made banana bread (I can’t throw out those ripe bananas, now can I?!?). I did have pancakes (no whip cream mind you), and now, here I sit, writing this blog post.

What is wrong with me??? Why can’t I slow down???

I have always been an on-the-go type of person, seldom stopping during the day. I’m highly organized. In fact, my friends joke with me that I organize them. Somehow, I believe that if I get it done today, the pressure will be off for tomorrow. Then, if I choose, I can relax tomorrow. So the question is why don’t I?

Am I going to let someone down today if I just kick back? Will you think less of me if I just take a day and be lazy?

The logical answer to these questions is an obvious NO – so what is the issue?

Is it because without action, I am alone with my thoughts, and I don’t like what I think? No, somehow that doesn’t feel right. I am getting much better at guiding my thoughts to ones that feel good when I think them, and so, I do enjoy my time alone.

I teach my clients to be selfish – but instead of the word selfish, I use the word “self-care”. And, I tell my clients that it is ok to be selfish and to practice self-care. I often site the example of travelling by plane with my daughter and how I am always instructed to place my oxygen mask on first before placing one on her – that’s pretty selfish isn’t it? But selfish equal’s self-care and I will be of no use to my daughter, or anyone for that matter, if I don’t care for myself first. When you are looking after yourself you feel good, and how you feel represents your point of attraction, which Law of Attraction is responding to. Again, logically I know that.

But, here is something I’m learning about myself. Self-care for me doesn’t necessarily have to be the day I first described in my post in order to be relaxing and rejuvenating for me. I do unwind as I putter, and walk, and bake, and write, and think – I do feel calmer. I do feel rested. I do feel better prepared for the week ahead. Even better, I feel a sense of accomplishment!

I have a belief that says, “In order to relax, I must do nothing”, but honestly, that’s not me – and I need to change that belief. It seems that my day alone has helped me to do just that.

How does it work for you? I know most of my friends don’t allow themselves much “down time”. Of course they don’t, for we attract to us what we are. Birds of a feather, as they say. But, I know there are those of you who find it difficult to get going. Tell me what works for you, and are you feeling good about it?

I’m going to stop writing now, and go relax, or maybe first I’ll just ……