A Business Coach and Successful Weight Loss; what’s the connection???

This is the time of year when most people are talking about their New Year’s Resolutions, what they are, and how best to keep them – but personally, I don’t ever set them, at least not in January. I do set goals frequently, and I am constantly thinking about how I want my family life, relationships and career to unfold, it’s just that the calendar date is not my motivator. I do, however, want to share with you something I am planning on doing (and the fact that it starts in January is timely!)

I have decided to commit to working with a business mentor – someone to coach me with respect to my business development and success. I am paying someone to work with me. We will have monthly meetings in person as well as by phone (we talked on Skype the other day as she was out of the country), in addition to quarterly mastermind meetings with other like-minded entrepreneurs where we will spend 2 days planning, debating and improving each others business.

This is not easy for me – it’s not easy for me to pay for this, and it’s not easy for me to tell you!

Why you might ask?

My negative thought process goes something like this;

“I have an MBA for goodness sake, why would I pay someone to help me with strategy development?”

“I currently work as a marketing consultant, why would I pay someone to help me develop marketing strategy and tactics for my own business?”

“I have many years of senior management work experience; I don’t need anyone’s help”!

The Best Entrepreneurs Have a Great Boss!

However, I am doing it, and I am committed to it, because I know that in my previous (and current) work experiences I performed best when I had someone whom I admired and respected challenge the way I think, or provided me with insights that I alone can’t see. I am letting go of one of my flawed premises which says I must figure it all out myself.

Many of you know that I work with people who are having difficulty attaining their ideal body weight, and I do so by applying the principles of the Law of Attraction to weight loss (rather than merely focusing on food intake and exercise alone). I was struck by how similar my issue of working with a coach is to my clients who have issues with their weight.

You see overeating is not simply a food issue, but often is a relationship issue.

Weight issues are, on some level, a statement of our unavailability. Feeling separate from others, we build walls; then, having built a wall, we feel more separate from others. Separation becomes a theme, not only regarding our bodies but in other aspects of our life as well (take my coaching example). A wall goes up around us physically and energetically or (vibrationally) as we learn to dissociate from others in ways both large and small.

Something that keeps us trapped in a pattern of over eating is our tendency to isolate. For in isolation we feel permission to self-destruct. Without someone there to say, “Don’t do it”; you are free to indulge the deepest craving. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is such a thing as splendid solitude, but isolation is not it. Isolating is a defense against relationships; and for the over eater, it’s the way to avoid dealing with others so that you can have your relationship with food all by yourself. Food will not pressure you. If you stand alone, there are no consequences if your e-zine doesn’t get sent out on time. Food will accept you. Food will understand you. Food will make you feel better. Alcohol reads from the same handbook, by the way.

I am learning to release my belief that I should know it all by this age and stage, reaching across the wall that separates me from my coach, and establishing a pattern of connection in a place where I hadn’t allowed it before. This re-patterning is a path I believe to not only great business success, but attainment of a healthy happy body.

Working on this is not a New Year’s Resolution for me; it’s not something I can just check off my to-do list. You can’t just get it over with. This issue – like most – involves a lifelong journey that once begun, never ends. It is a journey not simply into food recovery, or business success, or relationship success etc., but into a more light-filled life. It is a journey into the heart of love, toward others and towards you.

Marlene

PS – If you do set New Year’s Resolutions, here is something for you to think about. Resolutions, like many new decisions, are often made from a clear awareness of what we do not want or of what has not gone well. Try to spend some time lining up your thoughts and beliefs (vibrations) with your new decision. For example, if a resolution to earn more money is coming from a keen awareness of the absence of enough money, the Law of Attraction will match your vibration of lack. Try making your resolutions or your goals come from a place of expectation rather than doubt, from a place of belief rather than scepticism.

PPS – Very excited about being on Rogers Daytime Ottawa Television on Thursday, January 13. Please stay tuned for further information!

Reframing for the Holidays

I’m not talking about reframing your pictures, but rather reframing your thoughts!

The countdown to the holidays are on, the snow is starting to pile up making travel a bit slower, line ups are a bit longer, work demands are increasing as you prepare for some time off, and your credit card is working overtime. We all know that this can be a time of year when the pressure starts to rise, the stress starts to take hold, and chances are you might find yourself a little short or impatient with those you love, and/or that sore throat starts to bother you.

Is this you I am referring to?

I know I am certainly capable of this behavior at times, and as soon as I noticed it, help was delivered to me – not once, but twice!

I regularly follow the blogs/newsletters of two women, both of whom this week wrote about how to look at situations differently!

Deb Dunn, http://getitdunn.ca/blog/?p=212 in her blog post entitled 12 Days of Joyful Reconnection talks about how she was feeling waiting in a long line at the post office. The service was slow, she found herself criticizing the postal workers etc. etc.

“As I grew more annoyed I noticed that my body was also tensing up and I immediately realized I needed to do something differently. I needed to change the way I was thinking.”

Deb then goes on to talk about what thoughts she focused on to reframe her thinking, and ends up with the following comment:

“Shifting my mood from annoyed and stressed to playful changed everything for me. It seemed like the line moved faster, I received great service and when I left, both the clerk and I were laughing”

Jeannette Koczela, in her blog post entitled Gratitude for What Didn’t Happen http://empoweredspiritcoaching.com/blog/ talks about taking a bad situation (car troubles) and feeling positive about it.

“Last week my alternator broke down on my car and it was barely able to limp into the repair shop before it died completely. The battery light had gone on the night before and I made an appointment the next day to have it checked out. I ran one errand before going to the shop and when I came out the car wouldn’t start at first, then would only go about 15 miles an hour, and the lights, clock, and turn signals weren’t functioning all the way to the repair shop. It was kind of scary.”

“But what was even scarier was that it didn’t happen the day before. We had just driven to Milwaukee (a 7-hour drive) and back for Thanksgiving weekend. When I brought the car to the repair shop, the attendant couldn’t understand why I was so happy. “The alternator broke today, not yesterday,” I said. I was so grateful for what didn’t happen—that it could have broken during the trip.”

Each of us have a choice in every moment, and that choice is to feel a little better or to feel a little worse. It is that simple, feel a little better, or feel a little worse.

I invite you, over the holidays, to play with guiding your thoughts in the direction of things that feel good, and discover the power that comes with this. Watch how lines move quicker, sales people are more pleasant, and lights turn green for you more often.

Share with me your stories, and in turn I’ll share them with others. Tell me how you are turning your thoughts around this holiday season.

Happy Holidays

Marlene

How Not to Watch Your Weight

As a Certified Law of Attraction trainer (who happens to be schooled as a Dietitian), I am always interested in the educated opinions of others with respect to how to attain and maintain a healthy happy body. When an article arrived in my in-basket from Dr. Weil on the topic, I immediately opened it.

Dr. Weil quotes the following in his article entitled, How Not to Watch your Weight (http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/WBL02223/How-Not-to-Watch-Your-Weight.html);

“So many women are overweight or obese these days that a surprising number of them just don't see a problem: a new study reveals that nearly 25 percent of overweight women mistakenly describe their weight as "normal." Their views aren't based on numbers on the scale, but on how they perceive themselves, say researchers at the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston. The researchers noted that more than half of reproductive-aged women in the United States are considered overweight or obese by body mass index (BMI) standards, and that 82 percent of African-American women and 75 percent of Mexican American women meet the criteria for being overweight or obese. The investigators analyzed data on more than 2,200 women 18 to 25 years old. In addition to BMI, they collected information from the women about their weight perceptions and weight-related behaviors such as dieting, skipping meals, smoking cigarettes, avoiding carbohydrates and exercise. The study was published in the December, 2010, issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology.”

Here is Dr. Weil’s take on the study;

“Experts have suspected for some time that people look to their peers to determine what constitutes acceptable weight. The women in this new study may have drawn their perceptions of "normal" weight from the people they see around them, rather than any reliance on the scale, BMI or "ideal" height/weight charts. "Average" is not the same as "normal" or "healthy," and we're not going to make any progress against the obesity epidemic if individuals who are overweight or obese don't see their size realistically.”

Interesting - I see the solution as quite the opposite.

I don’t see the solution to the problem having anything to do with facing reality. I see the solution as quite the opposite – that is to do the best you can to keep your thoughts from focusing on the aspects of your body which are displeasing to you, and to find aspects/qualities/topics that are pleasing to you.

The key to creating the body you desire (and in fact anything you desire) is to find a way to turn to the better-feeling, positive thoughts, even when the way your body currently is doesn’t evoke it from you. You would be further ahead to use your willpower to focus your thoughts in the direction of what you want your body to look like, rather than to spend more time “facing reality”.

So how do I do this Marlene? How do I live in a body which is displeasing to me, and I feel like I have no control over what I put in my mouth. How do I start to feel better about this? The answer is slowly and patiently!

So, in the beginning, your thoughts may be something like the following;

I am fat (negative)

· I don’t want to be fat (negative)

· I am so tired of being overweight (negative)

· I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror (negative)

· I hate shopping for clothes (negative)

· I've tried so many things, nothing works for me (negative)

Now, your job here is not to fix everything, your job is to try to find a thought that feels a little bit better;

· I wish I could find a way to make this work (more positive)

· My back certainly would feel better (more positive)

· This meal I am eating right now sure is delicious (positive)

• I could eat some now, and save some for later (positive)

· I like having choices (positive)

• Look at her over there munching away on those cookies. Her metabolism allows her to eat tasty things and still be slender. She’s probably unhealthy, and that’s the only thing she will eat today (negative)
  

• Ahhh there is evidence of someone who’s in alignment with her desire of eating a cookie (positive)

Whenever you find yourself beating the same old drum about your body weight, or facing the “reality” of anything in your life that you don’t like, if you would make an effort to turn your thoughts more positively, and stay focused upon the subject until you feel a slight turn, in a very short period of time you will improve the vibrational relationship between where you are and what you want. You will be amazed at the leverage this improved vibration will give to your weight management process. Remember, the job of the Law of Attraction is to mirror back to you what ever it is you are offering vibrationally. Everything about attaining your ideal body weight will get easier and easier until, in time, your desired body weight will have been achieved.

What are you offering vibrationally?

Marlene

I am Glad I Developed Strep Throat

I am Glad I Developed Strep Throat

Yes, you read that title right!

My daughter had it first, and a week later I had the worst sore throat I can remember. It hurt just to swallow and talking/eating were out of the question. I was in bed for 3 days, followed by a couple of days of just feeling listless and tired.

How can this be a good thing you ask?

Yesterday was my first day “out” after feeling so rotten. I couldn’t wait to get going. I felt so good getting dressed up in my suit, and driving to my meeting, I was filled with excitement and enthusiasm for the day the lay ahead. More importantly, what I noticed was a profound sense of appreciation for feeling healthy again.

I appreciated the contrast!

Now, don’t get me wrong, while I was lying in bed I wasn’t appreciating anything, in fact I was feeling very sorry for myself, and worrying about all the tasks and duties which were not getting fulfilled. But yesterday, I really appreciated my health.

Contrast is an interesting word – you see contrast is anything that doesn’t feel good. As I eat something I don’t like the taste of, that’s contrast. As I smell something I don’t like the smell of, that’s contrast. When I have a really sore throat, that’s contrast.

But contrast is essential.

Contrast helps us to know what we want, what we prefer. Without contrast you would never have to make a decision, you would never have to decide anything, and you wouldn’t know what you prefer. The key to observing contrast is to observe it briefly, and to use it as a bouncing off point for the development of a clear understanding of what the improved situation you are yearning for is all about.

I must tell you that I did notice myself telling everyone that I met that I had Strep. Everyone! Remember, what you focus on expands. Next time, I am going to do a better job of talking with people less about what is bothering me, and more about what I am thankful for!

I got a little sick, and it felt bad. But I am glad I developed strep because I now have a profound sense of appreciation for my health, and that feels so good.

Marlene

Owning a Dog – A Spiritual Journey

I just came back from a wonderful walk with a friend and our dogs. I have been a dog owner for just over a year now. I had a dog as a child, and it was a good experience, but this is my first time being responsible for a dog as an adult.

It really was my husband’s and daughter’s idea to get a dog, this was going to be their experience and I was just going along for the ride. Never in a million years did I expect to experience the love and the learning that this dog has provided for me.

My dog represents pure positive energy to me, and through my attention to her and through my interactions with her, I am inspired more to my own connection with positive energy.

My dog loves me as I am and doesn’t ask me to be different.

My dog does not hold me responsible for her happiness.

My dog enjoys being with me but never suffers when I am gone (ok – maybe momentarily), because her joy is not dependent upon my behavior.

When I am with my dog I am uplifted. She is always eager to go for a walk. She is always enthusiastic to chase a squirrel. She is so peaceful as she lay on the floor with her head on her paws as I work at the computer. Even when I simply think about her, my vibration rises.

The more I can keep myself in that place of wonder, of appreciation, of love, of enthusiasm the more the Law of Attraction keeps similar experiences in my surroundings – and my dog helps me do that. Thank you, my beautiful dog, for your constant reminders of a better way to be.

Are you a dog owner/lover who has a reaction to these words? If so, I’d love to hear them!