Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

“My kids are fighting like crazy these days,” my client recounts to me. “It’s driving me crazy! I’m not sure if intervening is the right thing to do, or if I should just let them figure it out.”

I could completely sympathize with her. While my own daughter doesn’t have a sibling to argue with, she and I do ruffle each others feathers every now and then, and I, much like my client, wonder if I am handling these interactions with her in the best way.

She is at the age where, well, let’s just say physical cleanliness is definitely more important to me than it is to her, and I find myself wondering whether my constant, persistent, commands to “bush hair please”, or “hair and teeth, please”, or “did you floss?” are really the right approach.

“Should we just let our kids go dirty, and not pressure them to brush their teeth,” my client wondered?

How should I handle this?

I used this example because it provides both a literal and figurative look at how our “dirty minds” work. Just as not cleansing our bodies will leave them dirty, not cleansing our mind will do the same. If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, negativity is what you will receive. I call this the dirty mind syndrome.

The definition of the Law of Attraction states that whatever you give you attention, energy and focus to, you’ll get more of it, whether positive or negative. Positive thoughts or feeling (vibrations) attract more positive experiences, negative thoughts or feelings… well you know where that leads. And, you can always tell whether or not you are offering a positive vibe or a negative vibe, by the way you feel. Positive vibes always feel good, or at least provide some relief when you are offering them, which is the indicator that you are on the right track to attract whatever it is you really want.

Your emotions are like your own personal GPS system, telling you whether your current feeling (or current vibration) is positive or negative.

So, with this in mind, I asked my client, “Do you feel good when you have to repeatedly ask your children to do something?”

Her reply was an instant, “No.” I agreed with her because, I don’t feel good about it either.

I concluded, in these particular interactions with my daughter, that my negative emotions are my indicator that I was offering a negative vibe and the chances are less likely that this situation was going to go the way I wanted it to.

So, what do I want? How do I want this situation to turn out?

Well, I’d like my daughter to take more responsibility for her behaviour. I’d like her to be motivated to take action without me having to remind her.

By simply thinking these thoughts, I’ve raised my own vibration. This is a great first start and, I’ve decided I’m only going to ask her once (in a loving way). Then, I am going to back off!

I know what you’re thinking – “She’s crazy! The kid will never do it!” But, by doing this, I feel better and my daughter has to feel better. I’ve increased the likelihood of turning this situation around through my positive (clean) thoughts.

And, guess what? I have noticed an improvement! It’s not just in her cleanliness either. It has affected her actions in other areas as well. She now comes home from school, opens up her backpack, and is inspired to get her work completed – without me saying a word!!

Parenting, like so many topics, is fraught with ambiguity. Am I too strict or too slack? Do I praise my daughter too much or too little? Is she too young to watch that show with me? Too young to listen to that song? Is she already a video game addict? Will she grow up to be a good person? What is a good person?

So many questions! And, while I may not have the answer to all of them, here is what I do know. My daughter will not be cold; she will not go hungry; her hair will be tidy (somewhat); she will not smell (much); her face will be clean(ish), and I will do my best to treat her in ways that, at the end of the day, I feel ok with. And, most importantly for me – I will have a clean mind!

Are you unsure of what to do? Undecided about something? Get yourself into alignment vibrationally first (clean your mind!) then, take action.

Using the Law of Attraction is not about the conditions changing (my daughter behaving better) and then finding a better feeling in response to the changed condition. Deliberately creating your own life using the Law of Attraction is about choosing a thought that feels good when you choose it, which then causes the condition to change.

So, here’s the big question – Do you have a “dirty mind”? If so, don’t be ashamed. We’ve all been there. I encourage to share an experience where your feelings are telling you that your actions could be more negative than positive, and therefore not aligned with what you actually want - and how you can turn that around!

Blog Post Photo Courtesy of Gardner Photography - www.gardner-photo.com/

Finding the Positive in the Negative

6:00 am Saturday morning. It’s still dark, very quiet too. Everyone is still asleep and the house is still.

I grab a banana and a travel mug of green tea. No coffee for me this morning. No pancake breakfast. No wine last night. I down a glass of water and head off to get dressed. I pull on my ski clothing (which cost me a fortune, I might add – not to mention the equipment) and I mentally prepare myself for the next few hours of mental torture as I get us to the ski hill for my daughters racing program.

First, I have to wake my daughter from a sound sleep. While she likes the racing once she is at the hill, getting her there is another story altogether. It takes a calm focus to get her dressed, patiently listen to her grumbles, pack a healthy breakfast and lunch and make sure I have all the required gear packed and ready to go. Often we have to brave roads that are dark, snow packed and slippery along the way.

By the time we get on the highway, the sun is starting to peek above the horizon and the world is alive with everything other than people. It’s cold now, but soon it will warm up. We arrive at the hill right on time. I take a deep breath, unload my daughter, get her geared up and wish her luck. Now, it’s time to get myself organized. I bundle up, secure my i-Pod, insert my headphones (shhhh, don’t tell the ski patrol), and make my way to the chair for the first run. Now it is “me-time”.

I have spent the last couple of years always skiing with someone else, finding myself either trying to catch up, or waiting for someone to catch up to me. This year, with my daughter occupied for most of the day, I ended up skiing by myself a lot. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this alone time. With my head phones on, rarely do I talk with others on the chair ride up, and on the ski down I often sing to myself (sometimes loudly!). My energy is my own.

As crabby as I was and as reluctant as I seemed, it all makes sense now. I’m alone in my head, clearing out the fuzz as my skis slide across the snow, making that familiar “swooshing” sound. It’s as if they are whispering encouragement to me as I glide along. I’m pretty awesome, I begin to think.

There are a few reasons why I do this every weekend. The most important of these of course, being that it is important to my daughter. Aside from that, most of my reasons are purely selfish, like thinking I’d drop instant pounds by skiing all day Saturday and Sunday, or that after all that exercise, I would have endless energy and enthusiasm. Those things never really happened, but something else did.

My moods changed, my outlook improved, my habits altered. It was a new winter; a lighter life. There were just as many stresses and worries but I managed to “swoosh” them out of my system with each run down the hill. A whole week’s worth of worry and burden was somehow erased with a day of parallel turns. My vibration lifts.

And then there are the people. Every weekend I meet another “ski” family who, like us, spend the entire weekend at the ski hill. We fantasize about lazy weekend mornings, reading the paper and making waffles, and have our pre-ski saunas and hot tubs planned out in our heads, knowing that a warm hot chocolate, paired with the lingering effects of the high after skiing all day, is a great way to end a weekend day!

Almost through my first winter of being a “Ski Mom”, I’m not svelt and definitely not a pro skier. But, I am healthier, proud, grateful for the opportunity to ski – and happy!

What are you doing with your weekends and what effect does it have on you and how you feel? Are you finding positives in your negatives?